Tag Archives: Socialising

Making conscious changes; Life with anxiety and IBS.

Hi guys, I thought I’d share some information with my general health and a recent diagnosis I’ve had after several years of discomfort and flare ups. It’s been a confusing ride and trying to read what your body is trying to tell you isn’t always easy, especially not when every symptom you have, Google seems to diagnose you with cancer or heart failure. Real nice, huh?

Anyway after way too many weeks of suffering and losing sleep over horrifying Google searches, I booked in to see the GP and get some answers. It was decided that I have IBS, something which so many others suffer with and runs through my family. My diagnosis really wasn’t too difficult as I have most of the tell tale symptoms of IBS so when going to the GP , I already had a good idea of what was going on but wanted to be certain so that I could treat this best as possible at home and make the necessary changes to help improve my situation.

A diagnosis meant that I could stop stressing uneccesarily over my health and perhaps be able to sleep at night rather than lay awake worrying if I’ve had a heart attack or have tumours growing, not exactly great for my anxiety levels and definitely doesn’t help with the fatigue I suffer. With a diagnosis I can now commit to proper plan of action to battle the bloat and improve my health. What was suggested was to follow a low fod map diet – avoiding certain fruits, vegetables and gluten and to eat a healthier diet. I eat well generally speaking but I am ready to improve myself and do better in order to tackle my stomach troubles. Anything to get rid of the dreaded bloating.

Around three years ago I was on a gluten free diet as I had trouble with bloating, stomach pains and cramps but I was never diagnosed other than by myself. I ate gluten free and mostly survived on porridge oats and fruits, salads and gluten free pizza. As a couple, myself and my Husband tend to eat well and excercise a lot through walking. Euan has recently been diagnosed as having a gluten intolerance so I suppose we are on a similar page with regards to health and at least we can help to guide and support one another through this and live a gluten free lifestyle together . I suppose this does make the weekly shop a bit easier (if only more expensive). When Euan first stopped gluten, I was curisng him as it was a run around trying to think of meals to have, foods to get in and then of course the making of different meals for each of us. Now here I am, on the exact same boat and kicking myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to care for and nurture my family and I don’t mind making meals and organising the breakfast and lunches but what I do mind is the time that is consumed by doing so. Trying to be health conscious and really consider what I am buying is time consuming and it is very well time I could have with Eleanor or reading a book yet it’s time I now don’t have spare. To shop for three different people’s needs and get healthy choices, prepare good meals and try to be on top of my game at all times while running around after my wee girl is not easy. To stay on top of everything while working and running a busy schedule is tough as everyone knows I’m sure. Life is super busy and every year just becomes even more so, as they say; life won’t wait.

We are a health conscious family and we really try to be the best version of ourselves both mentally and physically, making changes when required. We are rather fit and try walk everywhere and pass on good habits to our Daughter with regards to her health and fitness. We live for the outdoors and fresh air. To be so active and on the move non stop yet feel blaoted and unwell all of the time really does bring me down and plays havoc on my self esteem and body image. Not exactly what you need when you are crippled with anxiety as it is and over think, worry non stop. The last thing I want to worry about is how I look but with my IBS I really do worry about how my stomach appears, especially at the end of a busy day.

I hate to look down and see what resembles a pregnant tummy, to suffer terrible nausea and migraines each day and struggle with fatigue. A mixture of stress and anxiety and IBS has really taken toll on my health and most days I feel miserable right now and my mood low. With a New Year and a fresh start I’m out to get on top of my health issues and start over. I am going to make more effort to practice beginner yoga – I’ve dabbled with this before during pregnancy but not a lot and certainly not since birth and I am going to revise my eating habits while working with a therapist to ease my anxieties and try to take back control over my mind and body.

I certainly aim to work on my anxiety and try to improve life for myself , I’ve never suffered anxiety until after a few months post partum which ever since I’ve been crippled with horrible thoughts, worries at all times and real bad palpitations. I break out in a sweat, become clammy and panic often so much so that feel that i can’t breathe at times and melt down. I have terrible social anxiety and I dislike social situations, I become nervous and jittery and feel like I can’t cope, I become agitated and visually distressed and can become quite rude and snappy. I can’t deal with busy places and will either not enter to leave when I’m faced with a busy place such as the supermarkets.

I once ran across the road without thinking while there was incoming traffic and nearly got hit by a bike, I was so wound up by this that I went to the local supermarket to grab some juice but the self scan wasn’t working, it wouldn’t accept the bar code, my heart was racing and in a midst of anger and panic I grabbed the juice and ran out of the store without paying. I had stolen a tin of juice while blinded by a haze of panic and palpitations, not a big deal on the grand scheme of shoplifting but I’ve never stole in all my 25 years u til this moment and I think I was always feel terrible for doing so. Anxiety got the better of me and continues to do so, so much so I avoid certain situations now.

I’ve only have anxiety since having my Daughter and I would really like to get ahead of the game and take back my life. This can become bad at any time, like everyone I’m only human and I have good days and bad days but lately most days are bad and I cannot sleep for stress plaguing my mind. My head races, my body aches and I am so run down I can’t be the best version of myself which is no good for me and feels like I fail my Daughter from time to time. I need to get on top of my health, listen to my body and get strong.

To aid my anxiety as mentioned, I have been to a session of cognitive behavioural therapy to help cope and have set out to have a session each second week to work on coping mechanisms for stress and find out what triggers my behaviours so that we can then learn how to prevent and ease behaviour. Between therapy, medication and my change of diet, I hope to see a Great improve with my mind and my health. I don’t expect miracles but they say that anxiety and IBS go hand in hand, if I can work on my stress and try to better my anxiety I would hope this would have a positive effect not only on myself but for my IBS, that’s the plan anyway. Fingers crossed, I’m real tired of having to feel so worried all of the time and have my moods fluctuate not even daily but sometimes hourly. It’s not easy to live in such a way where you lack control.

When I became pregnant In 2017 flare ups with IBS and bloat didn’t bother me anymore and my stomach was absolutely fine, no pain and minimum bloating. I assumed I was doing okay and allowed myself to eat most foods again, besides meat as I became a vegetarian. However neatly two years post partum, old troubles are creeping back, the bloating is fierce and the mood swings even more so. It’s time to say goodbye to all things gluten once again and try to replenish my stomach health.

I won’t miss gluten in honesty as I’ve done this whole diet before, I know what I enjoy and I know what I can and can’t have so it’s just revisiting old habits for myself and really trying to remain focused. With low fod map diets it is important to avoid certain foods that can trigger the IBS so as well as avoiding gluten,I will be skipping on certain other foods from each food group. It is always tough to change diet, especially while raising a young family but as mentioned Euan is too gluten free meaning we can share the same food and eat the same meals to save having to make three different meals, three times a day.

Eleanor will have most of the same food as we do, especially with the little amount she does eat but I won’t be giving her a gluten free diet as this could cause trouble with her body while it still develops and I’d hate to cause any disturbance with her health. What we have as gluten free such as pasta for instance, Eleanor will have with the gluten.

Has anyone else reading this suffered with post partum anxiety and IBS? The two go hand in hand as we all know but I’m looking to seek some help and advice from others who may be suffering too and to reach out to those of you who suffer in silence. I’m here to try to create a support network of possible and I’m available to chat all times, just send a message my way and I’d be happy to share more of my story as I would be happy to hear your advice and thoughts. If you happen to have gluten free meal recipes, coping mechanisms for IBS and ideas of what to do to aid IBS please do, fire away. I’ll always try to remain my most open and honest through my blog and if I can help someone reading this, that always means a lot too.

As always, looking forward to hearing from you all.

Keren.

Living in a modern day society deprived of fulfilling basic manners.

  Manners are designed to acknowledge others but all too often I feel that we are failing to use our manners. We are too consumed with technology and caught up with ourselves. People have bumped into me and have not muttered a word, no apology.

I’ve had doors closed on my face, people queue jump a lift as I wait in line with my baby in her Pram, people fail to step out from a lift to allow me to pass. They stand and watch with judgement as I try to manoeuvre myself and the Pram out, desperate not to squish any toes. Though, if I happened to roll on any toes by accident,  of course it would be my fault and the blame be pinned on me, not the individual who lacked basic manners and failed to move out of the way.

We as people are now failing to say please and thank you when ordering their morning latte. Basic manners have slipped our minds. This is becoming an increasingly big issue and I worry that come time, there will be no sense of manners. Society will become a free for all and not one of us will look out for the other. Is this the way we want to raise our children? The next generation?

We as people, are failing to respect one another and respond appropriately to a small act of kindness, such as making room on the pavement for another to pass. Is it so difficult to say please, thank you, sorry? I was raised to have good manners and to use these at all times. To be kind,to have compassion and to help others in need. I never saw differently and like to believe that I always treat others respectfully, the way I would like to be treated. I find myself often disappointed at the lack of morals I share with others in our society. Perhaps I expect too much but believe me when I say that modern day manners are lacking in society.

On a recent walk during a Saturday afternoon with our dog,  we found a woman passed out beneath a park bench resting next to a river. Clearly intoxicated and in a bad way, we stopped to help and call for an ambulance. I don’t know how long she had been sprawled on the ground prior and have no indication of how she got there. I was afraid that she would tumble into the water and there would be no going back. As we were waiting for an ambulance to arrive, it became clear that we were the only people along a busy road to have the decency and sense to stop. That no other would bother. Not one person stopped to offer a hand. Heavily pregnant and with our dog in tow, we waited around an hour for help to arrive and watched in astonishment as passers by merely stared. With passing cars and pedestrians you would think that someone, even just one individual would stop and offer a hand. Again, I must have expected too much.

When help arrived, we were shunned and made to feel as though we shouldn’t have bothered to call for help. The ambulance crew did not mutter such as a thank you and the woman in need did not show a care in the world. I felt ashamed and was upset with this, we were made to feel as though we were wrong to have called for help. Had we not, would someone else have bothered, or would the woman have been left outside in the cold to perish?

Perhaps we are all losing our manners because our acts of kindness go unnoticed and seem unwanted. Why should we bother to help others, to say please and thank you if this is not well received?

Wether people were too embarrassed or afraid to stop or wether they simply could not be bothered, I don’t know. What I do know is that this woman could have came to find herself in a very bad way or even had died if left alone and not one person took the time to even just ask wether she was okay or offer a hand. Hypothermia, choking, drowning. The possibility of a life threatening issue arising was high and I didn’t want to take any chances.

I’d hate to imagine that was my gran who had taken a fall and was left to lay on the ground alone until someone could be bothered to see she were okay. Have we all become too consumed within ourselves and caught up in our own lives that we forget about others and fail to show respect, to show compassion?  Where are our manners?

When you open a door for someone you acknowledge their presence and the need for you both to use the door at the same time. Wether you nod, smile awkwardly or simply say “Thanks”, you return the acknowledgement. Don’t over complicate opening a door for another  with feminism or being a gentlemen, there isn’t any need. This is simply a door that requires opening and it’s rude to shut it in someone’s face. End of.

Have you offered help to an elderly lady across the street? Checked in on your parents, grandparents? These manners are a basic mechanism for those in society who are less able to protect themselves. Manners are not only for communication purposes, manners have the ability to protect others. To protect and care for vulnerable groups within our society. Groups that we are beginning to forget.

Manners are designed to offer fairness, to give each person an equal opportunity. We are taught to wait our turn in the queue, not to interrupt someone who is talking. These simple manners evolved so that everyone is given an equal chance and the opportunity to participate. Manners provide us with an element of fairness, equality and order.

Without manners it would simply be a free for all and who decides who comes first?  What’s to say that one person is more important than the person next to them? There are no barriers without manners. I’m afraid society is becoming more of a free for all and it is every man for himself. It’s a dog eat dog world for sure.

Manners are designed to reduce conflict and without these in place I fear that we will become over run with daily issues, big and small.

Think of all the recent times you have been annoyed at an individual. Maybe while driving your car, out on the weekly shopping trip, or even just walking in a crowded place. I could go on.There is a good chance that you were annoyed because the person who caused you to feel this way had failed to show basic manners. Failing to indicate when heading in a certain direction, failing to move out of your way as you try to squeeze your way through a busy crowd.

Manners should be used to reduce the strain between people in the same way that traffic lights are used to reduce accidents at crossings. With society failing to participate to meet standards, I am afraid that conflict among ourselves is becoming rife and this is a big problem.

Would you rather be treated with respect or treated rudely? People treated with a little respect and dignity are more likely to be positive toward you than if you treated them poorly. I think that this is something we all need to keep in mind and we must remind ourselves of our manners and the part that they play within society.

Next time you order your morning latte, remember to wait your turn in the line and to thank your barista.

Manners can make such a difference and even just having someone hold the door open for me can make my day. I’m going to ensure that my daughter is raised to have strong manners and good morals. She will be raised to grow to become a polite and kind woman, to have compassion and to have the ability to connect with others and offer help if required.

Society may be losing its manners, but I am sure not going to lose mine. These will be inflicted and influenced within my family and our household because I know just how important they can be and how important they can make you feel.

 I will not lose myself and the standards to which I was raised to a society that has become ignorant and thankless.

Let’s again pick ourselves up and raise our modern day standards for the greater good of our society. If we don’t act fast, I am afraid for the future of our generation and the generations that may follow.

 

  Thanks for reading,

 

   Keren x