Tag Archives: Advice

Making conscious changes; Life with anxiety and IBS.

Hi guys, I thought I’d share some information with my general health and a recent diagnosis I’ve had after several years of discomfort and flare ups. It’s been a confusing ride and trying to read what your body is trying to tell you isn’t always easy, especially not when every symptom you have, Google seems to diagnose you with cancer or heart failure. Real nice, huh?

Anyway after way too many weeks of suffering and losing sleep over horrifying Google searches, I booked in to see the GP and get some answers. It was decided that I have IBS, something which so many others suffer with and runs through my family. My diagnosis really wasn’t too difficult as I have most of the tell tale symptoms of IBS so when going to the GP , I already had a good idea of what was going on but wanted to be certain so that I could treat this best as possible at home and make the necessary changes to help improve my situation.

A diagnosis meant that I could stop stressing uneccesarily over my health and perhaps be able to sleep at night rather than lay awake worrying if I’ve had a heart attack or have tumours growing, not exactly great for my anxiety levels and definitely doesn’t help with the fatigue I suffer. With a diagnosis I can now commit to proper plan of action to battle the bloat and improve my health. What was suggested was to follow a low fod map diet – avoiding certain fruits, vegetables and gluten and to eat a healthier diet. I eat well generally speaking but I am ready to improve myself and do better in order to tackle my stomach troubles. Anything to get rid of the dreaded bloating.

Around three years ago I was on a gluten free diet as I had trouble with bloating, stomach pains and cramps but I was never diagnosed other than by myself. I ate gluten free and mostly survived on porridge oats and fruits, salads and gluten free pizza. As a couple, myself and my Husband tend to eat well and excercise a lot through walking. Euan has recently been diagnosed as having a gluten intolerance so I suppose we are on a similar page with regards to health and at least we can help to guide and support one another through this and live a gluten free lifestyle together . I suppose this does make the weekly shop a bit easier (if only more expensive). When Euan first stopped gluten, I was curisng him as it was a run around trying to think of meals to have, foods to get in and then of course the making of different meals for each of us. Now here I am, on the exact same boat and kicking myself.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to care for and nurture my family and I don’t mind making meals and organising the breakfast and lunches but what I do mind is the time that is consumed by doing so. Trying to be health conscious and really consider what I am buying is time consuming and it is very well time I could have with Eleanor or reading a book yet it’s time I now don’t have spare. To shop for three different people’s needs and get healthy choices, prepare good meals and try to be on top of my game at all times while running around after my wee girl is not easy. To stay on top of everything while working and running a busy schedule is tough as everyone knows I’m sure. Life is super busy and every year just becomes even more so, as they say; life won’t wait.

We are a health conscious family and we really try to be the best version of ourselves both mentally and physically, making changes when required. We are rather fit and try walk everywhere and pass on good habits to our Daughter with regards to her health and fitness. We live for the outdoors and fresh air. To be so active and on the move non stop yet feel blaoted and unwell all of the time really does bring me down and plays havoc on my self esteem and body image. Not exactly what you need when you are crippled with anxiety as it is and over think, worry non stop. The last thing I want to worry about is how I look but with my IBS I really do worry about how my stomach appears, especially at the end of a busy day.

I hate to look down and see what resembles a pregnant tummy, to suffer terrible nausea and migraines each day and struggle with fatigue. A mixture of stress and anxiety and IBS has really taken toll on my health and most days I feel miserable right now and my mood low. With a New Year and a fresh start I’m out to get on top of my health issues and start over. I am going to make more effort to practice beginner yoga – I’ve dabbled with this before during pregnancy but not a lot and certainly not since birth and I am going to revise my eating habits while working with a therapist to ease my anxieties and try to take back control over my mind and body.

I certainly aim to work on my anxiety and try to improve life for myself , I’ve never suffered anxiety until after a few months post partum which ever since I’ve been crippled with horrible thoughts, worries at all times and real bad palpitations. I break out in a sweat, become clammy and panic often so much so that feel that i can’t breathe at times and melt down. I have terrible social anxiety and I dislike social situations, I become nervous and jittery and feel like I can’t cope, I become agitated and visually distressed and can become quite rude and snappy. I can’t deal with busy places and will either not enter to leave when I’m faced with a busy place such as the supermarkets.

I once ran across the road without thinking while there was incoming traffic and nearly got hit by a bike, I was so wound up by this that I went to the local supermarket to grab some juice but the self scan wasn’t working, it wouldn’t accept the bar code, my heart was racing and in a midst of anger and panic I grabbed the juice and ran out of the store without paying. I had stolen a tin of juice while blinded by a haze of panic and palpitations, not a big deal on the grand scheme of shoplifting but I’ve never stole in all my 25 years u til this moment and I think I was always feel terrible for doing so. Anxiety got the better of me and continues to do so, so much so I avoid certain situations now.

I’ve only have anxiety since having my Daughter and I would really like to get ahead of the game and take back my life. This can become bad at any time, like everyone I’m only human and I have good days and bad days but lately most days are bad and I cannot sleep for stress plaguing my mind. My head races, my body aches and I am so run down I can’t be the best version of myself which is no good for me and feels like I fail my Daughter from time to time. I need to get on top of my health, listen to my body and get strong.

To aid my anxiety as mentioned, I have been to a session of cognitive behavioural therapy to help cope and have set out to have a session each second week to work on coping mechanisms for stress and find out what triggers my behaviours so that we can then learn how to prevent and ease behaviour. Between therapy, medication and my change of diet, I hope to see a Great improve with my mind and my health. I don’t expect miracles but they say that anxiety and IBS go hand in hand, if I can work on my stress and try to better my anxiety I would hope this would have a positive effect not only on myself but for my IBS, that’s the plan anyway. Fingers crossed, I’m real tired of having to feel so worried all of the time and have my moods fluctuate not even daily but sometimes hourly. It’s not easy to live in such a way where you lack control.

When I became pregnant In 2017 flare ups with IBS and bloat didn’t bother me anymore and my stomach was absolutely fine, no pain and minimum bloating. I assumed I was doing okay and allowed myself to eat most foods again, besides meat as I became a vegetarian. However neatly two years post partum, old troubles are creeping back, the bloating is fierce and the mood swings even more so. It’s time to say goodbye to all things gluten once again and try to replenish my stomach health.

I won’t miss gluten in honesty as I’ve done this whole diet before, I know what I enjoy and I know what I can and can’t have so it’s just revisiting old habits for myself and really trying to remain focused. With low fod map diets it is important to avoid certain foods that can trigger the IBS so as well as avoiding gluten,I will be skipping on certain other foods from each food group. It is always tough to change diet, especially while raising a young family but as mentioned Euan is too gluten free meaning we can share the same food and eat the same meals to save having to make three different meals, three times a day.

Eleanor will have most of the same food as we do, especially with the little amount she does eat but I won’t be giving her a gluten free diet as this could cause trouble with her body while it still develops and I’d hate to cause any disturbance with her health. What we have as gluten free such as pasta for instance, Eleanor will have with the gluten.

Has anyone else reading this suffered with post partum anxiety and IBS? The two go hand in hand as we all know but I’m looking to seek some help and advice from others who may be suffering too and to reach out to those of you who suffer in silence. I’m here to try to create a support network of possible and I’m available to chat all times, just send a message my way and I’d be happy to share more of my story as I would be happy to hear your advice and thoughts. If you happen to have gluten free meal recipes, coping mechanisms for IBS and ideas of what to do to aid IBS please do, fire away. I’ll always try to remain my most open and honest through my blog and if I can help someone reading this, that always means a lot too.

As always, looking forward to hearing from you all.

Keren.

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?

I will put my hands up and be the first to admit that the festive period has brought with it much indulgence that otherwise without the excuse of Christmas, I’d frown upon. Two years ago I was pregnant, last year I was nursing a new born so when this Christmas came around, there was no stopping me falling off the rails a little and enjoying rich foods and an evening tipple every other night.

When I say falling off the rails, I don’t mean I’ve gone full alcoholic and been rattling down bottles of grey goose or crying into my gin glass, but I’ve enjoyed myself with a glass of prosecco, a late night gin (7pm) when the baby has been bedded and I’ve snacked on all things I dare not to think of (I’m basically half human, half chocolate bar) .

Anyway, I was going to use this post to share a wee insight of how I spent the last weekend of the festive break. It’s been an amazing two weeks off with Euan and Eleanor, at home surrounded by family and close friends. I’d not have spent this any other way and it may be the best Christmas yet. The time off to wind down together after a busy year yet again has been so special. On our last weekend of the holidays before I head back to work and Euan offshore, we planned to have an afternoon out just the two of us and had Eleanor over at my mum’s for a sleepover.

A sleepover, yep! We had free reign to do as we pleased and we tried to make the very most of it and squeeze in everything we enjoyed. We got dressed up and headed off out for an adventure. This began with a walk to town and a coffee to go as we browsed the stores. Picked up a few bargains and some holiday goods and it was nice to be able to think while shopping without having to rush out of the store with the baby crying or trying to grab at anything she possibly could.

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Next up was the cinema, a firm favourite outing of ours. Obviously we went for a popcorn and juice to share, mixed popcorn and an ice cold tango orange. Bliss. We went to see Holmes and Watson, a comedy take on good old Sherlock. Not a movie I’d ever give the time of day to again but it made us chuckle and wind down together. It was slim pickings while choosing a film so we opted for silly over anything else and though the movie was poor, we had a rare time giggling at the bad jokes and snacking.

We then decided to go for cocktails at a local haunt, las iguanas. A chilled out atmosphere, good company and a great range of seriously delicious cocktails – oh and a handsome Husband on hand, it was perfect. We each had two cocktails, both packed just enough of a punch without being too deadly. Just the right amount of a hit to get our mood elevated and prepare us for our dinner booked for 8pm.

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It was amazing to sit, take in the outside world and relax in our own wee zone, not something we can do very often or like to do when we have Eleanor around. We love alone time together, but without our Daughter, we are lost and tend to pine for her while she’s away as she’s part of us, she’s on our team and to be apart from her is really quite difficult even if we do cry out for alone time when times are hard and the pressure rises.

To be out on a date day and enjoying one another’s company is the therapy we needed as it is always so important to take time out for one another and just be at peace. We had booked a table at the buffet for 8pm, a risque move as we never leave feeling too well. Having had little to eat during the day to set ourselves up for a night feast we were ready to take on any challenge. We managed a few plates of food each, a variety of all sorts just as you expect from a buffet.

Finished up with a dessert plate , though as I filled up on noodles,I couldn’t manage a lot more, my tummy was aching and likely craving fruit but I still took one for the team and tried a little of various pudding. I done my sweet tooth and my stomach proud.

Before heading off we grabbed some fortune cookies for the road, one for Eleanor too but before we could leave we found ourselves engaged in conversation with a couple who had been sat next to us, low and behold one hour later we were just catching the bill, not only did we over indulge with food we were spoiled for company, an unusual situation and one we made the most of. It’s nice to get chatting to strangers from time to time. I’ve never left a restaurant so late (10pm) to be precise.

We got back home, got ready for bed and I can safely say, I had the best sleep I’ve had since pregnancy. To be able to stretch out, cuddle and sleep in without any disturbance from Eleanor through the night was amazing. I missed her dearly of course but the time alone as a couple was just a real treat.

Proud to say that I kept my end of the bargain with my New Year resolutions to be more generous. I treated Euan to cocktails and dinner before he leaves for offshore, a gentle thank you for the best two weeks of Christmas and all he does not just over thet holidays but every day.

Here is to being generous and keeping up good habits, life’s too short to be anything but kind. Now to get back to saving for a house, wish us luck!!

My go to beauty products of the moment

Hi guys, I’ve abandoned the old blog of late, it hasn’t been an intentional break, more just a lack of time. Being back at work, tending to a baby and going between two homes is a bit crazy. While I’ve got a minute to spare, I thought I’d ease myself back in with a plesant wee post on my top beauty picks of the past three months.

I’ll get into a real talk blog soon, I just need Eleanor to nap to give myself the required time to think and write, for now though, I’ll keep it simple with a little but bit of glam for you all, I’m going to show and share all about my beauty products that are getting me through the dark Winter. Here goes..

As a lover of all things beauty products and make up, I thought I’d share some of what I’ve been using lately, my favourite and most trusted make up products that can be used all through the year, day or night wether you are on or off duty. Just the right amount of glossy without over doing it, I’ll call it every day glam but as it’s Winter and the party season after all we can also go with Festive glam. Whatever works, either way, I can assure that these products wont disappoint by any means, you can rely on them through any make up triumohs and disasters. Once in your make up bag, they will be there to stay. Promise.

First up; Benefit – Roller Lash.

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A Christmas gift from my Mum and a top pick. I always love Benefit make up, it is my go to counter and never fails.

This mascara gives a full lash look without the clumping, one application is enough and it stays put all day. In fact, it can be tough to remove so make sure you have a good eye make up remover involved in your bed time routines. This is absolutely fabulous and I’d not be without it, my best mascara yet and I love the fact it doesn’t clump or make my eyes look too bulky. Well done Benefit, you’ve done it again.

Urban Decay – Illuminated

 

If you are like myself and love a glowy look, this is the highlight for you. Subtle and light, it gives a gentle coverage which can be used all over or just on points which you wish to highlight such as the bow of the lip, the cheekbones and above the brow lines.

However you like to highlight, this highlighter can do it all and provide a light to heavy coverage depending on application. The highlight isn’t too powerful and doesn’t have the immediate wow factor which makes it great for an easy going, day to day glow. Suitable for wearing to and from work. It does require topping up to keep your skin glowing but as it comes in a compact and with a brush, you can reapply throughout the day.

MAC – prissy princess palette

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An eyeshadow palette I can wear time and time again . Filled with earthy hues, metallics and nudes you really have all you need. This can create so many looks and can take you from a subtle day time nude to a party smokey eye in just a short application.

A mix of several different sized shadows in various shades and gorgeously packaged, what more can a girl want? This palette would make for a gorgeous gift but be warned you might just want to keep it for yourself! Seriously gorgeous packaging and a real treat no matter who it is for, there is little not to love.

The colours are vivid and bright and give a lasting coverage. I apply my eye shadow after I prime my eyes so my shadow stays for the day but you don’t need to prep and prime as this shadow goes on really smooth and takes straight away. My only fault Is that the palette doesn’t come with an eyeshadow brush.

Benefit – Porefessional.

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A favourite of mine since the beginning of time and one of my first ever purchases at the Benefit counter. A discreet tube filled with a cream like serum in a shade suited to any skin tone and type. Porefessional may not look like much but it packs a punch and gives the perfect prime and finish to any look.

I like how versitile this is, I mean, you can wear it alone to give the impression of a smooth complexion, beneath make up as a primer to make for a super silky look or even on top of make up to finish your look off with a matte coverage all around.

You need only a small amountaand it works wonders. I love the silky feel it has to it, makes putting on make up a real treat. With such a small tube it’s also easy to throw into your bag and use to top up your make up through the day.

What’s even better? As it’s not a powder, there isn’t even any mess left behind or the need to dust off your top afterwards. Hallelujah. All your make up prayers have been answered. At around £25 it can be quite pricey but definitely value for money and it does a good job – you’re welcome

 

Dad’s day off. Trip to Camperdown wildlife park.

Hey guys! A busy spell over here with us so I thought I’d share a little of what we have been up to. On Thursday, Euan had a day off so we were up and out at 7am ,ready to adventure on a day trip down to Dundee and hit the animal park at Camper down.

DCIM100GOPROG0040237.JPGI’d not been for years and we have rare opportunities to do such activities during the week with Euan working, it’s just too busy. Sure to make the most of a sunny day, we set about with a plan and followed through.

We arrived in Dundee early, before 9am, and took advantage of a wee browse around the local shopping centre. Or at least I did, I left with a second set of ear lobe piercings.. talk about inpromptu. I blame a mum life crisis if that’s such a thing? Anyway, we grabbed picnic style snacks, some food for Eleanor and headed off to the park around 11AM.

The sun was out, the park was busy and the animals were out to play for the best part. We had the gopro set and ready to go, to capture any moments from the day. Waltzing around the park with Eleanor in her dad’s arms, watching all of the animals in their daily life was quite nice. A chilled out day going at a pace of our own and making me ever grateful for the little family that I call my own and everyday life.

GOPR0243_1532027445953_high.JPGEleanor wasn’t fully aware of all that was going on but she did enjoy watching some of the wild birds and the bears having a bath in the sun. I was quite impressed with the park, small and nothing crazy going on but enough to make the most of your time there. With it being a nice day, we took a slow jaunt around and stopped to look for the wild animals.

Come 2pm we decided to head back home and walk our dog Fern into the centre to grab an ice cream. It is of course so crucial to make the most of the nice weather back here when we have it and ice cream is never a bad idea.

A scoop of blueberry panna cotta for Euan and cookies n cream for Eleanor and I to share. My baby loves ice cream, in fact, her favourite word right now seems to be “Mmm”  a foodie in the making with a definite love for anything sweet. Definitely takes after myself with the food department for now, so long as she picks up a love for pizza and Hallomi we are onto a winner.

Back home, we sat down to a glass of wine and some chill time before preparing for the working day ahead. It’s nice to take a day off together and utilise as a family day now and again as time flies so fast, these moments are precious and not to be wasted. Family is the best part of my life and to take time out together makes my heart so fuzzy and full, I just love it.

G0030235_1532027445953_high.JPGBesides, what is better than watching your Husband (to be) play and interact with your baby? It’s just too bloody special.

I hope that you guys are all good. Does anyone have any ideas of family activities with a small child? Particularly outdoors, as we just love to get up and get out.

 

Keren x

 

Life in the fast lane.

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Right, hello you bunch. I’m going to get real in this blog post and share what’s been going on with family life the past few weeks, there’s a lot to get through and I must admit, I’ve been having quite the time of it all lately, a time that has been overwhelming and most definitely stressful. My patience tested and my sanity questioned. Wait, what sanity?

Why is it that everything comes at once? It seems the past two years have been non stop, from passing my driving test, to a pregnancy, becoming a Mother, an engagement and now a move? I laugh that we have done this all in the wrong order, we are all muddled up with our relationship path and direction. Finally, it’s all coming together but the thing is, how much longer can before I burn out?

Trying to find the balance between being a working mother and spending enough time with not just Eleanor but with my partner too all while trying to keep up appearances with my family and friends can really be a great challenge. With Eleanor being so young and demanding such full on attention, I hardly have time with my partner, never mind any self time to just sit back and relax for a minute. If im not chasing after her every move, I’m trying to settle the constant wails of the dreaded teething. It’s tough, nothing really prepares you for welcoming a child Into the world and the challenges you face can get to be too much from time to time.

I amaze myself with how many times I have to repeat in a day “mummy just needs a minute” as I try to unload the dishwasher or give myself heartburn from having to shovel lunch into my mouth so fast. Yes, life with a baby really is life changing, believe it or not, it is true what they say. Even now, ten months on, I find a new struggle with every waking day. There is no day off, but would I have it any other way? Of course not. This is life now, and no matter how tired, how stressed and how unglamorous, I am living my best life with the people that I love.

Long gone are the weekends spent at the pub with friends or the endless shopping trips with my Mum or even just taking some time to enjoy a hot bath and a wine. Life has turned upside down and unfortunately time doesn’t wait for nobody. There is no catching up, all stations are go and on a 24/7 basis.

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Onwards and upwards though, and I’d not have it any other way. I mean, as much as I’d like to belive that I miss the partying, the friends that would come and go and the tireless walking around the shops I don’t miss it. Not for a minute would I change my situation, I can’t imagine ever not having my Eleanor, life before her was non exist ant. Sure, there are parts I’d do differently but that’s all part of learning and the journey into Womanhood, into Motherhood and my past mistakes make me grow to be stronger than ever and rise above issues (or crumble to the ground in a pile of tears – depending on the hormones).

With some further exciting news, the past week in our household has been filled with excitement, nerves and anxiety. We have recently received word of our application to rent a new property going through and depending on the status we take after a viewing we can move immediately. The property has two bedrooms, a balcony, and en suite. It provides us with the extra space that we need for our family right now all while being secure tenancy which means we can move without the worry of being left on the street at any time. The properties are not far from where we call home and ideal for a utilising as a family home for the future. Though not a forever home, it provides us with the steps we must take to get to that stage all while it buys us time to save and time to grow.

With the idea of a move to a family home, a fresh start all very exciting and new, it does bring a great deal of sadness and anxiety. I mean it’s great, yes and it is what we were working towards, only we thought we would have more time on our side. Walker Road has provided us with so many good times, it will be very hard to part ways but with everything in life, you have to move on and grow. It’s time for our family to grow into a new home, start over with a new chapter and really embrace those precious family moments.

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The surrounding buildings are full of families which will be great for bonding and making friends, Eleanor can grow up with children her own age around and can have the space she needs to express herself and play. There is a play park and a spacious area of grass where Fern can run around and play too. The homes look direct onto the river, a phenomenal view on a blue skied day. Everything we could want, need and more is in the palm of our hands, when we can let go of now and move on to a better future, I think our quality of life will greatly improve. After all, they say that change is good.

It is a busy time, but we can get through it together. A move, our babies first birthday, our wedding and honeymoon all coming in before the Autumn months arrive, time will fly. I have returned to work part time to get a break and to enjoy some adult company, to be my own person a few hours in a week, only it seems I’ve ended up with less time than I’ve ever had before and a lot less unsure of the person that I am. Go figure?

With all the nerves and the excitement, the fear of change and the huge lifestyle choices we have had to make, it really can become overwhelming and I’m looking for ways to still grab some time out for myself while I can, before I do lose my mind.

A coffee trip to mull over my thoughts alone, light breathing work to try to stay calm and practicing some basic yoga moves to stay focused and remember to remain positive in every situation, no matter how exhausting or stressful. To have a calm and a clear mind will always be better than having a mind filled with a tangled mess or worries, fears and stresses.

I do struggle to remember to breathe with all the crazy sometimes but I’m trying to remember to focus and keep a clear mind as with this busy period in mind, a clear head to think and a positive outlook is all very important. I like to reflect good vibes for myself which keeps my spirits up and can be especially good for Eleanor to pick up on.

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A busy time for sure but with the move becoming finalised, the wedding done and dusted, I’d like to believe we can move on as a family and work toward a better future for ourselves with time. Together we are able to do whatever we put our minds too and there is no right or wrong direction. We are going to go with the flow that life drives us in and to see the future with an open mind.

aaaand, breathe.

Tell me, how do you relax when times become all too much?

Keren x

A change of heart.

First of all, I’ll apologise for my lack of prescene online. With a growing baby  demand for my full attention at all times has become a first priority. Eleanor is now on the move, vocal and ahaving a spell of nap refusal. We have 5AM wake ups and 8PM bed times. I began a book way back in March and I don’t think I’m half way through as of yet, it’s terrible. Call it laziness, call it busy, exhaustion, whatever you like.

The point is, I have so little time to think right now, I don’t have the spare time to blog,when I do get that minute peace, I nap because frankly, it’s the only hope of a good kip. An active and demanding baby and an active family life has left myself with little free time to blog or even concentrate for that matter.

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I return to work in a few short weeks and my priorities right now are making the most of this time out in the sunshine, playing at the park and being with my baby. I’ll never get this time back, my blog can take a back seat. I think that’s fair? Anyway, as I mentioned, I’d keep you all in the know with any wedding plans and change, so here I am, posting about a change of dress as Eleanor has a feed.

I was set, good to go. A white dress, inexpensive, drop hem, little lace.. It was perfect..until it wasn’t. With the Wedding drawing close and free time running low, I was on a tight time scale and budget to find the dress for me. Sure, the white was lovely but I’ll stats that say for a Summer day. It wasn’t right to wed in, it’s just not enough of me, it was much too ‘safe’, and I’d hate to look back and think I wish I’d worn another dress. Scrolling online, I came across the perfect dress. It would have been wrong not to try it on for size. As the title of this blog implies, I had a change of heart. It was instant.

The Friday afternoon that it arrived, I was ecstatic. I didn’t expect it to fit so well or look as it did but its just right. I’m sorry option one, in the closet you go. This dress is to die for, a cowl neck, a slinky material that hugs all the right places made from my favourite material. Modest in length (longer than the first) and my favourite colour. Correct I’m not wearing white on my wedding away. The accessories I have match perfectly and I have a faux stole coming my way to finish my look off. I’m hoping for an old school, glamour look. A little modern take on a vintage bride. Birdcage veil included.

With mention of the birdcage veil, I’m still unsure of a hairstyle? I think a ballerina bun, scraped back from my face and held high. Classic and simple yet practical with a small baby who tugs at my hair and face non stop. Right now. I’m unsure wether to incorporate a braid for some modernism or to just let my hair hang loose in beach style waves with the veil draped down my face? I have some time to play around and an appointment with the hairdresser on the day on my wedding to get my favoured style put in place.

I have collected some little accessories here and there. Vintage Bobby pins, a blue brooch to fit the something blue trend, a garter hand made from Etsy by the most lovely lady and some small rhinestones which I’m not quite sure what to do with yet! I’ll find a use though, my Mum said you can’t have too much sparkle on your wedding day and I’m going with that. Although she returned her dress as she claimed it was too much sparkle for a day time..

Euan and I have a photographer booked tnow too, something we weren’t originally going to opt for but with only having one wedding day in your life time to gtt it right and have it just as you would dream it, we decided to go with a local woman who took beautiful images of Eleanor back at the beginning of the year. It seemed only right to re book with Eni, and to remain an intimate ceremony and celebration. I’ll be grateful to look back on our Wedding photographs come years and cherish all of the memories, especially of Eleanor being with us.

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(I think she is feeling as excited as I am for the big day when Mummy and Daddy get married, don’t you?)

We are set to meet the coordinator at the hotel reception on June 3rd before I return to work and get all of our plans, table set up and decorations in place. I’ve got all the little bits and bobs that we will use to decorate the room, now just to hand over the supplies and get the menu’s down to a tee for the big day.

I’m real excited as time reals in on us. I can’t wait to have a lovely day with my love, my baby and our close family and friends. I’m so happy with how our plans and ideas are taking shape, my dress and whole look has come together on a whim and how small and intimate we have kept the day in general. Now just to wait for the day to come around and seal the deal. How did you spend your Wedding day? Has anyone had a fiasco with a Wedding dress last minute?

Keren x

Flying with a baby.

Flying with a baby will be easy they said, babies will just sleep they said. Em, let me just revisit what I can only describe as a very painful flying experience with my child. An experience that I am in no rush to revisit for some years. Let me elaborate.

Our travels back from Cyprus to reach home began at 315pm with a coach transfer to the airport from the resort we were staying at. Now, I knew that the time of day and travelling through dinner time as well as bed time could be an issue, little did I know just how much of an issue and the upset that was to come.

The bus ride from the resort to the airport was fairly easy going, Eleanor sat on my lap quite chilled out. Watched out the window and played with the window screen, there was little fuss and I was in good spirits, particularly good spirits considering we were headed for home and back to the daily grind. Although holiday was over, I was excited to get back into a way of life and routine.

We arrived at the airport and got through security with no issue, we had a coffee stop and a toilet trip to get Eleanor changed and freshened up for the flight. Our problems began soon after, a tired baby who refused to nap for the day and didn’t take much food is never a good sign. Waiting in the queue for the gate to open and board, I could tell the trip would be a bit of hell. The queue was massive, the plane was to be full and my baby was very grumpy and impatient getting, this would only worsen as the hours went by.

We finally got boarded and took to our seats on a full plane. To begin, we tried to entertain Eleanor as best as you can on a plane with limited space. We got out her toys from her travel bag and used them as a distraction for her, as this was failing, we tried her with some snacks. Eleanor was not in the mood to play, nor to snack, nor to even have her feed of milk. It was going to be one of those days only without the comfort of home.

The plane was very hot and we had to strip her off to her nappy to try and keep her cool along with a hand held fan. As Eleanor was becoming crannies more people began to intervene. The children in front of us tried to play with her and offered soft toys (she tried to gnaw on these) and I gave them back before the children were left horrified. We were offered words of support and guidance from those surrounding us and we shared sympathetic looks with another mother on board with a baby.

Eleanor was very upset and frustrated after a short period on the plane, with five hours to go of this we tired her with a dose of nurofen to rule out teething pains and a trip to the bathroom to change her. In honesty a change made it worse and she returned to her seta screaming and crying. As red as a beetroot and my heart was breaking for her. I’ve never seen my baby so upset and I was worried that the plane was too hot for her, I didn’t want her to have a convulsion from the heat or anything scary. There was little that I or Euan could do.

From hour three, probably two hours of crying down, this became a constant scream and attracted the attention of the whole flight. I rocked my naked baby in my arms as Euan fanned her off. I tried to offer her the breast but she refused and just wriggled about as though in pain and screamed. I was unsure what she wanted, I haven’t seen her in this way probably ever, a sight and experience that I do not want to revisit. Ever.

The holiday was great, but seeing Eleanor so upset and uncomfortable broke my heart and I have vowed to never put any baby through the stress of travelling again. I’ll never forget how upset she looked and how helpless that I felt in those hours on the plane. Did we push her too far unneccesarily?

We finally got Eleanor to sleep through feeding and rocking, it was painful and heartbreaking. I was worried d for my babies health and I hoped that she was okay as she lay along my torso flat out and hot. I watched her every breath like a hawk and monitored her through tears in my eyes. Travel was just too much for her and I’ll not put her through this for some years again. Not until she can walk, talk and tell me what she needs and wants.

When landed, we had to dress Eleanor who was like a rock from being so flat out. Trying to fully dress a sleeping baby is no easy task, believe me. We waited until near last to get off the plane to avoid the rush. We didn’t avoid the stares of others and the judgement from people as they passed, I wouldn’t have expected to either after the scene that was put on. I was glad to be going home as I’m sure all three of us were. The next goal was getting to the car and making it home for midnight.

Upon arrival home we just dumped our bags and got into bed soon after changjng Eleanor. What a day, what an experience and what a fright we all had. I felt hot and bothered just reflecting on the time we spent aboard the plane. Bed time was a long awaited treat, we were all exhausted and a good sleep was definitely required.

Though not a great experience to say the least, I’m glad that we gave it a go and if was worth while for some family time in the sun and a different climate bonding. Eleanor and Euan have grown a great bond and I’ve fallen more in love with my family than ever which is hard to imagine as I thought I couldn’t possibly have more love to give, turns out, I do.

If there is anything the trip has taught me, it is to chill out and relax more. Don’t live life so on the edge, take it as it comes and forgive yourself for mistakes and mess ups as they will happen, over and over. There’s no way to parent right or wrong, only what works in that moment. We can revisit and review, we can scrutinise and reflect on our abilities but we should never punish ourselves for what has been. We learn grow and move on and I am learning to be more supportive of my own decisions and confident of my parenting.

I’d not recommend to fly with a baby so young but you don’t know how it will go until you try, if you are getting set to jet off with a baby, all I can recommend is that you are as prepared as can be and are aware that it can go either way. Good or bad. Whichever way however, it wont last forever and a bad experience will slip to the back of your mind soon after landing.

For now, I’m sticking to those home comforts and local surroundings. I’ve done my time in the sun and I’ve had my fair share of stress that comes with holidaying as a three, baby in tow. I need to holiday to recover from the holiday, there is no two ways about that. As I return to work in a few short weeks, I am going to have some down time at home with my baby and making the most of the moments that we share together. I am keen to work on her development and milestones at home for the time being and enjoy as much cuddle time as I can possible get. I am all too aware that I will be back to reality soon and that my days with Eleanor all to myself are well and truly numbered.

 

Keren x