I have chosen to share my views today surrounding becoming a new Mother and juggling the daily household tasks and general maintenance around the home. Something I am sure that all Mum’s dread. I have decided to write about this as it plays a big part in my life, perhaps more so than it should. Or I should let it.
Housework, a drag to each of us on any regular day. Throw a baby (literally) into the mix and it becomes a race to complete the daily chores. You feel that it is never ending and these days, in my case.. it really is never ending. I find that I get through one lot of chores only to have to begin again. It is an endless and thankless task.
All too often, especially of late, I have been told that the housework can wait. That it will be there for another day, during this time period I should take it easy. Strangers when out shopping have even warned to take it easy. Weird, I know.
I should sleep when my baby sleeps. Take all the rest I can. In my experience, this is much easier said than done. It is all too easy to tell someone to rest or to sleep when they can. I, as a breastfeeding, mess obsessed, Mother of a two week old, cannot rest. I cannot go for a nap knowing that the bathroom is waiting be cleaned or that the bedding is to be stripped and washed. It is not my nature. I can only settle when all is in order.
I am definitely obsessed with mess and cleaning up, my obsession frustrates me and those around me. I hate being surrounded by clutter and the sign of a mess building up builds a great anxiety within and sends my OCD; obsessive compulsive disorder, into overdrive. I cannot simply leave things be, I must interfere. As soon as I notice any crumb or dog hair, I’m at it with the Dyson. No matter what time of the day (or night) it is.
I am a maniac for hoovering and have recently discovered that I can hoover as well as do a good surface wipe down as I breastfeed my baby. This is super convenient, if not a little risky (there have been no accidents yet, Eleanor is fine, don’t worry)
I know that with a new baby, I should try to relax and catch some alone time. It is important, especially to take are of myself. Mess is imminent and cleaning up CAN wait, it is my mindset that cannot. I’m on edge knowing that I should be doing something. I do feel that I’m wasting my time when I’m on a manic clean spree and I do feel guilty that this is time where I could be lying with my baby and sneaking in some cuddles as she sleeps. There is simply so much else to be doing or worrying about. Life doesn’t wait and I am missing out on those precious little moments with Eleanor, I am very aware of this.
Yes, newborns don’t do very much and there is not so much to be missing out on. Though, I don’t catch every whimper, ever grimace, smile or even snore due to the fact I am running around trying to extend my capabilities and get whatever it is I must get done. Important or not. This still brings me guilt and I wish I could just relax push the over excessive anxieties aside and just take the time to chill and watch over my baby girl.
I simply cannot help this cleaning obsession I have been struck with. I don’t know when it really began, I suppose I’ve always been a neat freak and had set ways, I like things to be tidy and in place. If something is ever out of place, I have to fix it there and then. Dining table place mats, coasters, photo frames, I could go on.. and on. I just can’t relax when there is mess around. Some will perceive mess in a much different way than I do, what I think is messy doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will.
I need to try to find a way to relax my mind and break this horrible habit. I don’t want to miss out on time I could be spending with my baby due to some crazy obsession. I know there is a happy medium out there and I know that mess isn’t the end of the world. I just have to work on chilling out and taking that little bit of extra time for myself, and for my baby girl. I need to work on this unhealthy routine I have got myself into and improve myself for the benefit of my baby, my family and finding the right balance. As far as balance goes.
Let’s be honest, spending the weekend worrying about the household chores is no way to be spending time with the family. Especially now, with Euan back at work and family time being so strained. I’ll post an update soon with my thoughts and how I am getting on as I try to break old habits and get into a healthy mindset. Here’s hoping come a little time I will be able to kick off those shoes, get my slippers on, and sit back with my family to embrace full relaxation mode – without eyeing up potential spots to polish!